The Niece of ZanLe

Hey I'm The Niece, I'am 16 years of age, from Australia, I'm Biromantic, Ask anything :)

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brain itches Theme by Adam Holwerda.

huh? Sorry?

Im over school already I should of left for Tafe.

Im seriously…. just bleh still. I think I’ve just become numb to it. Just sort of left it be… but its still there its not going away.

The friends that I have our Zan… and my “brother” thats all i have to talk to, open to that is!

I’ve been trying to talk to Le but.. I have a feeling he is pissed at me for some reason. I can not explain. I guess I’ll see I know its going to hit me hard on monday. so we shall see.

xx

The Niece.

My list of things that have gone wrong these holidays.

1. I found out my 1st ex had cheated on me when we were together, then when we broke up he instantly got together with another girl, got her pregnant, he now has a kid. They broke up, and he called me, he wanted to hang out said he still “loved” me… he didn’t tell me he had a kid I found out through somebody else. He now wants me to act as his sons mum because the mother isnt really there.

2. My second ex called me (as well I know) said he wanted to hang out, ended up continuously insulted me.. because Im not as rich as him or because I don’t go to a private school like him… told him to fuck off and he cracked the shits at me.

3. My third ex called me.. wanted to get back together, wanted us to be honest and shit so I asked him who started all these rumors about me.. he told me it was one of my friends… and so then he wanted me to be honest with him so I told him I was bi romantic… Then a little while later, after new years he told me he stole money from his work. I told him it wasn’t right that¬† I needed time to think if I wanted to get back with him, then he told me more about it, and i told him I didn’t want to talk to him, it wasnt right and i was going to get sucked in to any of it. And he cracked the shits and me and said he still loved me as well, and that I should of understood because he understood that I was bi romantic and shit…

4. One of my friends for over 5 years past away in a terrible motorbike accident up in queensland while she was on holiday. Now I have to have the trouble of replacing her parts in our class play and keeping everyone else together because I’m the stage manager as we are are didicating the play to her…

5. i’ve had to talk 2 of my good friends out of killing them selves because they both have depression, I stayed up all night for one of them, talking to them on the phone. I have never been so scared in my whole life.

6. my friend has been admitted to a hospital because shes been unwell, I didnt know she had gone and I still do not know when she will be back or if shes okay or what is going on.

7.I have been left by my self these whole holidays I havn’t been out with friends I havn’t gotten any calls like no texts (apart from when people want something).

8. My best friends and band members had a day to get together (which is really rare for us to be able to ) and did not invite me… and said me being negitive and upset these holidays im just being upset and sensitive. that hurt me… a lot. Because they lied to me about it and would not tell me until I clearly stated that I knew what they had done… but some how it ended up being my fault.

9. my anxiety has hit me hard… i’ve had the shakes for the whole holidays my hands have been trembling and I cant stop it.

10. I have not been able to sleep. I’ve been awake every night since the start of the holidays up and past 1am. My mind doesnt seem to want to shut off.

11. I have an impulse control disorder, its not self harm but some people see it as it. I’ve had it for years just now I know what it is.

12. I’m scared of what will come in this year, Im going to have no days off during the week…

13. People are just expecting me to be perfect because thats what people see me as… they put so much pressure on me, even during the holidays. I’m expected to be everywhere doing everything… all the time! Which is fine its just when you have no body there for you and no body helping you.

14. Ive been bullied, black mailed tormented threatened and almost gotten in to a fist fight once or two times…

And this was all in the last month.

Thats just all in the last month.

Fun as gig!!! Jokes everythings falls apart…

The gig was good! there was like 20,000 people there. Zan, Le and the crew did really good! But Le had so much trouble he was sick and upset because a girl that came with us pissed him off at another gig so he wouldnt come and say hi to us or anything…. I thought I had done something and i was like “HI LE!! Oh…. or not… okay bye-bye…” You could tell just by looking at him he wasn’t with it. Maybe thats what its like for him with me when I’m upset or depressed at school and hes like… “babe are you okay… babe?” But no, she offended him, she was joking when she said it though and he took it seriously because one of the people that had hired him for his next gig was there… and he went off his nut a partly in the green room and shit… I was like… omfg… I felt so bad for him and for her!! She only ment it as a joke but she should not have said it… so. I do not know what she said at the other gig though. So I went to watch him play and he didn’t even get to come and say hi and talk to me or give me a kiss like normal… I was a little bit hurt because everyone else has been ignoring me like that…

Anyways! I stayed the night at Zans because I couldn’t be bothered going home… stayed up until 5am this morning… and I have to go to work soon… fucking shit as! Anyways I thought 1am was late which was by the time we were sitting in the main room just chilling and then shes like… time for snacks! And i was like huh? Oh shit so Im not getting any sleep? HAHA!

I’m paying for it now… but omg it was fucking worth it!

I wrote Le a message aswell in the car back because he left with out even saying good bye.

I was like “Hey hi hello… I hope you feel better soon. I hate seeing you like this. I hate seeing you upset! It is because someone farted yea? Smile :)”

IT might seem weird but they are normally the words he says to me… “I hate seeing you like this bub…. I hate seeing you upset….” then he would be like…. all serious and say “Its coz someone farted yea…” and you cant help but smile.

I just hope hes not angry at me somehow…

how well will find out later.

xx

The Niece.

Im sick on my Nations day… wtf?

I’m seriously sick.. I have the snuffles. I have no idea how I got them!

I just… SNUFFLES ON AUSTRALIA DAY! WTF OF IT BRO!

xx

The Niece.

Why does Le do this?

Le… omg where to start with him? I text him one thing, and then he texts back to me with the most stupid shit he can come up with!

And I can never laugh about it or tell my “friends” because I’m not even ment to have his number!

I asked him what Zan would like as a pressie because shes been helping me a lot lately… and he just texts back… “Cheese? HOW SHOULD I KNOW?! I haven’t been married to her! Only slepted with her! Jks… She is my sister! SISTER FROM HELL MAHAHAHHA!!!! GO get a boyfriend you arse and go study”

…. Thats basically what I get every single time. HAHA!

Got to love him though.

xx

The Niece.

Sadly I know my friends do not care about me anyways…
xx
The Niece.

Sadly I know my friends do not care about me anyways…

xx

The Niece.

(via teenagerposts)

Never been so… angry?

My A string on my new electric cello just fucking snapped…

it just fucking snapped!

Like no joke! I could not even tune it to an A with out it going… PING!

Now I have to wait to get back to school to actually have a chance to play it!

Another week and a half… a week and a freaken half!

What the hell em I going to to?

….

Play my acoustic? :)

xx

The Niece.

100 QUESTIONS.

  • 1. had sex? no
  • 2. bought condoms? no
  • 3. gotten pregnant? no
  • 4. failed a class? yes
  • 5. kissed a boy? yes
  • 6. kissed a girl? no
  • 7. used a little paper bag for lunch? yes : )
  • 8. had a job?yes
  • 9. slipped on ice? yes
  • 10. missed the school bus? No i walk
  • 11. left the house without my wallet? yes
  • 12. bullied someone on the internet? no
  • 13. sexted? no
  • 14. had sex in public? no
  • 15. played on a sports team? yes
  • 16. smoked weed? no
  • 17. smoked cigarettes? no
  • 18. smoked a cigar? no
  • 19. drank alcohol? .yes
  • 20. watched “The Breakfast Club”? no
  • 21. been overweight? no
  • 22. been underweight? yes
  • 23. had an eating disorder? yes
  • 24. been to a wedding?yes
  • 25. made fun of someone for being fat? no
  • 26. been on the computer for 5 hours straight?yes
  • 27. watched tv for 5 hours straight? yes
  • 28. been late for work? yes! ONE TIME!
  • 29. been late for school? never!
  • 30. kissed in the rain? no
  • 31. showered with someone else? no
  • 32. failed my drivers test?no
  • 33. ran a mile in less than 10 minutes? yes
  • 34. been outside my home country? yes
  • 35. been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? yes
  • 36. had lice? yes
  • 37. gotten my heart broken? yes....
  • 38. had a credit card? yes!
  • 39. been to a professional sports game? no... but ive been in one.
  • 40. broken a bone?no
  • 41. been unhappy about my weight? yes still em.
  • 42. won a trophy? to many...
  • 43. cut myself? no
  • 44. had an STD? no
  • 45. got engaged?no
  • 46. been on a diet?yes
  • 47. tried out to be on a tv show?no i was going to... but I went away.
  • 48. rode in a taxi?yes
  • 49. been to prom?no
  • 50. played a drinking game?yes
  • 51. stayed up for 24 hours or more?yes
  • 52. been to a concert? my own
  • 53. had a three-some? yea...
  • 54. had a crush on someone of the same sex? no
  • 55. been in a car accident? no
  • 56. had braces?yes
  • 57. learned another language?yes
  • 58. killed an animal?no
  • 59. been at a yard sale? yes
  • 60. been to a japanese steakhouse? yes
  • 61. wore make up?yes
  • 62. talked to someone via webcam?yes
  • 63. lost my virginity before I was 16? no
  • 64. had my wisdom teeth taken out?no
  • 65. kissed someone a different race than myself?yes
  • 66. snuck out of the house? no
  • 67. bought porn?no
  • 68. had a virus on my computer?yes
  • 69. had oral sex? no
  • 70. dyed my hair?yes
  • 71. gone skinny dipping?no
  • 72. graduated from college?no
  • 73. wore someone else’s clothes? yes
  • 74. voted in a presidential election?no
  • 75. rode in an ambulance? no
  • 76. rode in a helicopter? yes
  • 77. caught the stove on fire?yes
  • 78. got in a verbal fight?yes
  • 79. met someone famous? yes... hes my uncle.
  • 80. been on vacation?yes
  • 82. been on a boat?yes
  • 81. been on an airplane?yes
  • 83. broken something expensive?yes
  • 84. had surgery? no
  • 85. kissed someone before I was 14? no
  • 86. beat a video game? no
  • 87. found something valuable on the ground?yes
  • 88. made a survey?yes
  • 89. stalked someone on a social network? yes
  • 90. prank called someone? no
  • 92. spent over $100 shopping in one day?yes
  • 91. been to a library outside of school?yes
  • 93. cut my hair and hated it?no
  • 94. peed outside?yes haha!
  • 95. went fishing? yes
  • 96. helped with charity? yes
  • 97. taken a pregnancy test? no
  • 98. been rejected by a crush? yes
  • 99. been suspended from school? no
  • 100.broken a mirror?yes

YAY!

Going to the Australia day gig thanks to work and mucking up the computer records and saying I couldn’t work public holidays and all!

DIE HOMEWORK! DIE!!!!!

I have been doing homework like non-stop since I got up at 12… thats 10 hours of non-stop maths work. HAHA! I cut out an hour because I have been eating good and that takes anhour to do… and tumblr.

And I still have 2 more worksheets after this… learning lines, reading 2 books, 15 music histories.

All before the 7th.

I’m fucking doomed!

xx

The Niece.

WOW!

Australia day gig with Zan and Le. Trouble is I might be freak-en working… If I’ am I have to find somebody to cover it… or I call in sick. Either way I’m not going. I want to go to this gig. And I’m not turning up to work.

Anonymous asked: What does biromantic mean? Can you explain your sexuality?

bi-romantic basically means I find both girls a guys attractive! It’s like bisexual… sort of..-ish…

So it is actually really hard to explain… I have a lot of trouble with relationships and I’m just not interested in them right now.¬† But bi-romantic has just been the most easiest way to explain who I’m to people with out them really freakign out

. I will hook up with boys and girls (if I’m drunk or just feeling like a superhero that day) and hold hands around school with boys and girls… and some cute little romantic stuff but never a relationship unless I form a really good bond with them. So I could be bi ;P You never know! see what happens I’m not ready to fully label myself with being straight or not straight blah blah…

So if you understood that… your super cool :)

Be warned… Ruby Rose is mine… I would turn lesbian for her!!
xx
The Niece.

Be warned… Ruby Rose is mine… I would turn lesbian for her!!

xx

The Niece.

(via lostthemoon-deactivated20120620)

Australia Day?

Australia day is coming up guys!

YAY! I want to go to Zan’s gig… but I know you will have to be 18+ so I invited her to where I’m going… just to be super nice and all!

Though I’m not really in to Australia day… not because I don’t love my country… but because it always ends badly for me.

My mother just told me to ask my friends if they wanted to come with us… and I was like… “YEA MUM! What a great idea… I’ll go and ask them right now…”

Mum doesn’t know I don’t have many friends…

xx

The Niece.